no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
