the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
