forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
