I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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