you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
