I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
