Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
