final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
