I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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