His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
