If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
