i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
