"it" just moved
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
