Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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