I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
