It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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