I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
