You're so nebulous sometimes
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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