The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
