5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize