don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
