I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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