just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
