I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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