it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
