We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
