Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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