Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
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I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
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I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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