my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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