I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
