we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
