the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i dont even know how to be here
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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