So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
