I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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