turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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