She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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