there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
