no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize