Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.

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(518): View more from New York

I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward

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(307): View more from Wyoming

If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them

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(702): View more from Nevada

whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

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(914): View more from New York

wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?

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(303): View more from Colorado

I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!

(719): View more from Colorado

The US is in the finals, aren't they.

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