He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
