A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You ruined the universe
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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