he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
