so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
