Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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