I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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