I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
