# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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