It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
