i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
