I wannas sexs uuuuu
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
