If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
