just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize