like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
