Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
