So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize