I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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