I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
