I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
