dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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