can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
