Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
