why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
