Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
