You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
