yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
