Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
