He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The beer is more important than you right now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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