when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
