thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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