I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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