Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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