I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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