Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
