Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His nipple licking is glorious
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